by ronj

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second homebrew demo record
. composed and recorded in geneva and montréal
. between 2009 and 2010
. with my friends love, hate, trial and error
. raw source material available at


released May 3, 2010





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Track Name: lies
where were you when i was standing
in the dark
you were laughing with your friends

and i don't know where you're going
your words peel off, fall on the floor
or did they mean anything at all?

hey you what are you standing for?
comfortably hiding behind your best smile
you don't fool no one

carry on ignoring, carry on pretending
carry on golden words, carry on promises
carry on
Track Name: manifesto (gibran - the prophet)
where you see sadness i just see beauty
no weeping no complaining
minor can be a key to happiness
that's it i just prefer climbing mt zion to falling down in albion

your joy is your sorrow unmasked
you're suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy
but i say unto you, they are inseparable
only when you are empty are you standstill and balanced
Track Name: flee
escaping will never help you
fleeing never saved you
they just comfort you in your

fake timidity doesn't protect you
it just prevents you from making the change
you pretend you've been working
Track Name: dust
sitting here
i could almost believe
i am the king of this land

but the king is back today
and from his swinging hatchet

flies my head
buckets of blood
flowing in the air
casting red shadows
in the burning sand

yes i killed
yes i committed sins
murdered mothers parents and daughters
in their own burning house
but i won't fight, no i won't fight
no no no, not even fight
Track Name: #137 (xkcd 'dreams' cover)
the infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind.
the sheer number of experiences i could have is uncountable, breathtaking, and i'm sitting here refreshing my inbox.
we live trapped in loops, reliving a few days over and over, and we envision only a handful of paths laid out ahead of us.
we see the same things each day, we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day a slight variation on the last, every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of societal norms.
we act like if we just get through today, tomorrow our dreams will come back to us.

and no, i don't have all the answers.
i don't know how to jolt myself into seeing what each moment could become.
but i do know one thing: the solution doesn't involve watering down my every little idea and creative impulse for the sake of someday easing my fit into a mold.
it doesn't involve tempering my life to better fit someone's expectations.
it doesn't involve constantly holding back for fear of shaking things up.

this is very important, so i want to say it as clearly as i can:
fuck. that. shit.
Track Name: twenty
and if you don't mind
there will lie my hand
caressing your skin
flirting with your hips

then you will wake up
yawning your best smile
insulting the sun
stretching in the light
Track Name: joker
what the fuck
why are we
so complicated?

brooding in my bed
trying, hoping for something
that just won't happen

the more i think
the more i sink
and damn my own fears in your sorry eyes

go slow
take our time
bear with me
we'll sort it out

with some talks
i hope some laughs
beneath the sheets

go slow
Track Name: lost
as always
run into, run away, run over, run out of, run out on, run though me

at your turn
turn away, turn around, turn me down, turn aside, turn to me, turn me on

and you turn and you run
we'd get lost on our way
if there was such a thing
i'm glad it's just a joke
where lost is the one way
so keep laughing out loud

we're lost
every single moment of our days
still we can't help trying to find our way

still we're lost
not desperately lost, just naturally lost
so keep on always laughing out loud
Track Name: this is not an exit
patrick batemans smiling from their daily workout
yuppies without a name, yuppies without a face
what's in their minds? what's on their grins?
could they all carry

fine combs in their wallets
stained hundred dollar bills
girls bloods on their silk shirts
eyeballs in the briefcase

fear and loathing in their heart
— if they have any —

abandon all hope ye who enter here
this is not an exit